I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Pants are for mortals
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
