In the future we'll all be gay
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
