Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
