The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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