Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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