11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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