he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just google imaged poop.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
