Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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