Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
