so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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