GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
