God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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