how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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