and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
