when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
