At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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