we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
