why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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