the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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