Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
