Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
