I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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