whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
