you traded sex for a burrito?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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