You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
