Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it's great music for shaving your balls
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
