the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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