Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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