And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
