i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
