What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You're like the curious george of whores
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
