You work out of a Hotel?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
