you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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