we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
