Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
