Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
