I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
