this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
