I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
