is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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