so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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