So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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