you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
