so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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