FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All the doctor said was why
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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