don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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