no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
