You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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