a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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