I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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